Things That Were Not Such Good Ideas

-that third long island
-calling a woman for information on her late husband, and addressing him as Henry instead of Harvey
–then making one of her sons a girl by accident…I hate gender neutral names.
-forgetting my gloves and scarf at home
-drunken texting
-exclaiming, “if I could have a threesome with any two dead guys it would definitely be [...]

I always think I should be writing while I’m driving

Now before you go calling the police and the State Farm Safe Drivers guy let me assure you, I only think I should combine the two, never have I actually done it. To my knowledge. While the car was in motion. Maybe once or twice at a stop light.
Anyway, the reason for this is simply-I [...]