Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby Part Cinco

Right-o. Remember when I said that growing up Irish catholic meant that sex talk was minimal and vague?

Of course you do, so just guess what masturbation talk was like. If you answered “nonexistent” you’re correct! It seems that there is still a huge disparity between the amount of self-love going on between the bedrooms of young ladies and gentlemen. Ask a teenage girl if she masturbates and she’ll melt into a puddle of horrified embarrassment, ask a teenage boy if he masturbates and, well, chances are he’s already given out all the details, loudly, in public.

Why? Why the gender divide? Obviously females masturbate. I’d go so far as to say that anyone with genitalia and a functional hand has done some self-service at one point or another, but a lot of women still refuse to admit that they do, or that they have, or that they’re even interested.

I know, because I used to be one. I’m not sure why there was such a stigma attached to masturbation, the teenage double standard that men had free reign over sexual topics and women had to pretend they didn’t care, didn’t do it. It’s the whole “innocent virgin” scenario, the idea that a woman is sullied if she has a sex drive or sleeps with someone out of wedlock. And talking about it means your doing it, or at least that’s what it seemed like.

I bought into it for far too long. I remember the first time I actually comfortably talked about masturbation with a female friend.

It was in an elevator during my sophomore year of college.

My best friend and I had somehow gotten on the topic of self-love and realized we were both fans of Literotica. That conversation was the turning point in my sexual life; that conversation and TBS airing censored episodes of Sex and the City. I owe much of my comfort about sexual topics to Samantha Jones, because no matter how much of a nympho I imagined myself, she could definitely one-up, or one-hundred-up me.

Since then talk about sex, both alone and with others, has been the focus of the majority of my conversations with friends. I’ve been to passion parties. I’ve discussed the use, performance, and battery life of popular vibrators. I know the sexual preferences of many of my friends, actually I probably know more about their preferences than their boyfriends, (Dudes, give me a call, I’ll give you the low down), simply because we talk about it ALL THE TIME.

Some people feel that masturbation is just an act of desperation. Many women resent the fact that their boyfriends/husbands indulge themselves, they feel like it’s a threat to them, like if they were better in bed their SO wouldn’t have to resort to that. WRONG-O. It doesn’t matter if you resemble Jessica Simpson, or know your way around a bedroom like Jenna Jameson, your boyfriend is still going to play in the shower.

Because it’s fun.

It’s a lot of fun, for both sexes. Sometimes it’s too much fun and people become addicted. Remember Charlotte with the Rabbit? My vibrator actually came with a warning. But there’s something wonderful about having the ability to pleasure yourself, having the knowledge of your own body to successfully bring yourself to orgasm.

I remember when one of my best friends first managed to reach the grand O by herself. She wrote me a poem about it she was so excited. It went something like this: “O, O!
…o, ooo, OOOO, o!
Hooooow oooh soooo goooood ye (o!) be.”

Yea. It’s pretty much like that.

Grassroots Blogger Book Marketing Campaign, a month-long awareness campaign on behalf of Rape and Incest National Network (RAINN).

This entry is one in what will be a multi-part series of posts centered around the topic of sex that you’ll see throughout the month of April.

At the bottom of my posts you’ll see a link that you can use to donate to RAINN. Please be sure to write “GBBMC2008” in the More Information box and let them know that you came from ABlogofHerOwn when you donate.