Letter Series Vol. 4-ish

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Dear Treadmill At The Gym,

I haven’t been avoiding you, per se. I’ve just been really busy. I know that’s no excuse. Relationships, friendships take time, they need to be cultivated like a garden, watered and Miracle Grow-ed and what not. I know this. I apologize. But chin up, I’ll be visiting you this evening. I’m sure it’ll be an awkward meeting, as those “I haven’t seen you in forever” meetings often are, but we’ll work through it. I know we will. We have to, because there are only a few months before Thanksgiving. And I intend to participate in the 9 mile trek around town with a bunch of other looneys who feel like a jog up a mountain is a great way to spend a day centered around food. And because I intend to complete the course without keeling over, our relationship will inevitably become strong. Just keep in mind, as race day approaches our meetings will need to be less frequent. I’ll need to spend more time outside so that my lungs don’t explode from the NEPA weather.

It’ll either be 60 degrees and raining or 30 degrees and snowing because NEPA doesn’t abide by the traditional 4 seasons. It’s rather much like France,

European Union “All of Europe you must do this!”

France: “Well, we’re not gonna. We’re gonna have a sandwich.”

-Izzard.

But until then, my electronic friend, we will work on reviving our relationship.

See you soon,

A Rather Fluffy-Feeling Shaba

Dear New Apartment,

I heart you.

You make me feel like a growned-up.

You with your dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, and gasp, more than 2 rooms! I can not believe we found you. You are great. Soon, I shall be completely unpacked and you and I can exist in total harmony.

Much love,

Tenant Number 3
Dear Tenant Number 2’s mom,

Thanks for all the furniture. And the food in the freezer. And the flower arrangements.

Having you around is like having our own personal Martha Stewart. Every time I come in the door the couch in a different place and there’s something new and pretty to look at.

You even put real fruit in the fruit bowl.

And washed all the dishes.

I’m debating locking you in the closet and keeping you as our housekeeper/personal assistant.

I’m very much appreciative of all your help!

Sincerely,

Girl Who Knows This Is As Clean As Her Apartment Will Ever Be
Dear Little League Baseball Parents,

Do you remember being 10? Do you remember hearing adults bad mouth you in front of your teammates? Do you remember the pain of hearing your parent say with disgust and aggravation, “ I can not wait until Baseball is over. I’m SO tired of baseball,” and wondering why they hate the one thing you’re passionate about? Do you remember having the biggest passion in your life, the thing you eat, breathe, and sleep be chided and looked down upon by the people who’s JOB it is to support you? Do you remember having your parent side with your sibling over which sport is “better,” which sport is more “valuable?” Have you ever had to defend yourself to your family? Have you ever had to listen and sort through the mixed messages you’re receiving when your coach makes one decision and your parent loudly disagrees? Do you remember having to learn to respect your VOLUNTEER coach and his decisions while listening to your parent constantly assert that “that man has no idea what he’s doing.” Do you remember thinking that the game would be great if only the adults would disappear?

Maybe you should try to remember.

Disgusted and Saddened,

The Pitcher/Third Baseman’s Sister

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