Dear School Email System,
Due to our longstanding, mostly happy relationship, I have to admit your recent revolt against my inbox is perplexing. Why, oh-email-of-mine, do you insist on refusing me the joy of reading new messages just because I might not have emptied the recycle bin since January? Such a teeny spot on the overall glowing relationship I’ve had with you, and you punish me fiercely for it. Tsk tsk. I thought we were better than this. And now, to add insult to injury, you refuse to let me empty my sent message folder in one click. You insist I painstakingly delete every. Single. Message. One. At. A. time.
Why so cruel email?
Why?
Yours In Internet Irritability,
Girl Whose Storage Limit Should Be Increased
Dear 2008 Olympics,
I admit I missed your opening ceremonies. I may have even missed the gymnastics team competition. But I definitely caught the travesty that was the uneven bar individual competition, the Great Scrunchie Revival of ’08, and I may have even seen a Chinese gymnast clutch her teddy bear. Seriously…16? I’m not thinking so. And you know those girls look so sad after they mess up because every mistake costs them a meal. That painful look of a disappointment is not “I screwed up at the Olympics, I want to cry,” but instead, “I’m not getting fed tonight and I’ll probably be locked in the closet, I want my mommy.”
On a lighter note, Olympics, I enjoy the two weeks of sports-related glory you provide us every four years. And I truly believe you are held in conjunction with a Presidential election year in an attempt to keep the American people from ripping their hair out over the millions of stupid political commercials we’re bombarded with.
Thank you, from the bottom of my retired-gymnast/diver/volleyball-player heart,
Olympic Fan Still Rooting for the Magnificent Seven
Dear Virginia,
Why, exactly, are you “for lovers?”
Why are your drivers so confused about how to work a tunnel?
Can I start a petition to have “Meet Virginia” made the official state song?
Patiently awaiting your response,
A Vacationing Yankee In the South
