Wedding Do’s and Don’t September 10, 2009

I’ve decided after reading Katelin blog post today about her wedding do’s (and her previous wedding don’ts) this gloomy Thursday could do with a little wedding talk.

I had intended on writing a post about my new job and my new coworker who nonchalantly told me she met her lawyer boyfriend at her night job as an exotic dancer. But then I realized it’d probably be pretty boring because “OMG I WORK WITH A STRIPPER AND I’M INTRIGUED AND WANT TO INTERVIEW HER ABOUT FEMINISM AND HER LAWYER BOYFRIEND AND I’VE LIVED A SHELTERED LIFE WHERE “NIGHT JOB” IMPLIES  “JANITOR”  SO THIS IS A BIGGER DEAL TO ME THAN IT PROBABLY IS TO ANYONE ELSE” is about all I have to say about it.

While we’re on the topic of Janitors (go with it) The Boy and I watched “Glee” last night along with the rest of the internet and guess what? It wasn’t even my idea. I was resigned to watching the results show of Tuesday’s Worst Ever Semi Final  America’s Got Talent episode when The Boy flipped on Glee and suggested we watch. He’s full of surprises.

Anywho, my wedding dos and don’ts:

Do’s

• A Decent Photographer- This was my one big condition. I wanted a photographer who would give me exactly what I wanted for a reasonable amount. I could have easily, easily spent upwards of 5,000 on our wedding photography and done so happily because the photographic proof is that important to me. I feel like after the photos are our only real “souvenirs” of the day. They’re something we’ll have forever and even though I’ve heard couples say they don’t even look at their photos years later, I know I will have them up all over our house.  I think I hit the jackpot with our photographer who came highly recommended, gave me everything I wanted, and still costs a fraction of what the majority are charging.
• Good Food- This is for everyone else. People remember very little about the details of a wedding. I went to three weddings over the course of a year and I still categorize them by food. If the food is really good, the guests will be happy. We’re having carving stations, pasta, potatoes,  ice cream and pie. I expect people will be happy.
• People- One of the things that makes me happy about our wedding is that everyone on our guest list is someone we really hope to see attend. Keeping our guest list to approximately 100 people makes it possible for us to be a little discriminating but still have everyone we really want there in attendance. And, our wedding party will be awesome. I am so, so happy we decided to stick to our guns and go with 5 each. I can’t imagine a better group.
• Outsourcing as much as possible-Our wedding will be inexpensive as far as weddings go. I’m guestimating we’ll be well under $10,000 thanks to our budget savvy ways. Utilizing the skills and talents and generosity of our friends and family on things such as music, flowers, cinematography, invitations and favors allows people special to us to be involved in our day and keeps our costs and stressors low.
• Photobooths- Everyone likes them. It’s a fact. I want to have one at our wedding but whether it’s a DIY job or a real booth will depend on how much moola we feel like parting with closer to our wedding date.

Don’ts

• Obnoxious dj’s. Outside of bad food I think this is the area where any party has the most possible to go down hill fast. If the DJ sucks you’ll know about it, and often you’ll know about it too late. I don’t want to do the chicken dance, thank you very much. Nor do I want to do anything with “Slide” in the title.  Doing our own music makes sure this doesn’t happen.
• Outrageously expensive paper products. I love the look of letter press. It’s very pretty and very nice to feel and also very expensive. Spending two grand on invitations that everyone will throw away after our wedding? No, thank you.  To me, to us,  and for our budget that just doesn’t make sense.
• Ugly bridesmaids dresses. I don’t really understand the idea behind picking bridesmaid dresses for your maids. I’m not a stylist. I don’t know what you look good in. I don’t know what you feel comfortable in. And for a bridesmaid I think those are the two most important factors -looking good and being comfortable.

Happy Thursday!

Practically Perfect in Every Way June 15, 2009

I stole this from DJ Brandy a few weeks back and just now found myself without a whole lot of blog-able material and a little more time on my hands to do it. In the past few days a few things have happened that are worth sharing with my Oh-So-Interested readers…

1. I’ve just finished my first freelance project, netting me a respectable amount of money and the title of “Associate Editor”
2. Tomorrow I start a Marketing apprentice program. It’s 6 weeks long, unpaid, and may lead to a job. I’m bored and unemployed. Win-win.
3. I leave on Sunday to spend a week in NEPA. If you’re going to be around, let’s make a date!
4. It’s The Boy’s birthday! Hooray! He’s old! I am a sucky fiance because I did not get him anything more than a card, and a certificate for an IOU on the gift I wanted to get him, and, you know, a great deal of sexytime.

Now, on to the show….

• The perfect outfit: Jeans with a perfect fit, comfortable knock-out heels, and a basic black shirt. Add in some nail polish, my ” I have more than 2 minutes to do this” hair and makeup routine and we’re stylin.
• The perfect meal: BBQ chicken, fresh green beans with almonds, garlic mashed potatoes, and an ice cream cone.
  
• The perfect hangover cure: A banana, half a regular coke, and B12.
• The perfect road trip: An automobile with enough space for two of my best friends, me, and all our shit. Back roads as much as possible. Tiny one horse towns. Diners. Three ipods full of tune-age. A west coast destination.
• The perfect facial feature: Hmmm, it’s a tie between white teeth and shaped, cleaned up, eyebrows.
• The perfect drink: Water with lemon, and the perfect amount of ice; though right now I could go for an AlexMac-Inspired Water with a Splash of Limeade.
• The perfect song: Evolve, Ani Difranco. Really the whole album is perfection.
• The perfect sign of affection: A hug from behind with a neck kiss. You know the move. It feels so comfy and butterfly-y.
• The perfect afternoon: A blog post published, a book and a hammock and a drink with a bendy straw; followed by chit chat, drinks, and mid afternoon snacks with the people who make me laugh.
• The perfect vacation: Spring Break 2008. Three girls, Connecticut in the off season, an inn to ourselves, Gilmore Girls marathon, junk food, adventures in horse-riding, shopping, a mini-road trip, and the best italian food I’ve had in the States.
• The perfect invention: I could cope out and say The Internet, but how about we go with the microwave. After living without one for a few days I was made entirely too aware of how important it is to my daily existence. “What do you mean I need to heat soup in a pot?!”
  
• The perfect type of wedding: Outdoors, early June, small guest list, ice cream, dancing….basically the one I’m planning.
• The perfect album: I already mentioned this, Evolve by Ani Difranco.  I own the majority of her work and I tend to like the more angry, older stuff, but this album is my absolute favorite.
• The perfect accent: Irish. Sigh. I always said I wanted to marry a tall, dark haired, sweater wearing, irish accent-ed boy. I even asked The Boy if he would consider attempting to develop an Irish accent to become my Perfect Man. He said a Pittsburgh accent and “We Say Pop Instead of Soda Even Though It’s Entirely WRONG” colloquisms is all I’m going to get. Oh well, 3 out of 4 ain’t bad.
• The perfect date: My perfect date? Dinner and drinks on a patio and dessert at Barnes & Noble’s.
• The perfect weather: 80 degrees, breezy, with puffy clouds.
• The perfect party: My uncle’s Labor Day party/St. Patrick’s Day-lots of people, lots of music, lots of food, lots of booze=lots of fun or lots of hangovers…either way it’s perfect.
• The perfect sport: Rifle. If you’re not perfect, you lose. If you’re perfect, you might still lose to someone slightly more perfect. (Tangent Ahead: If this was twitter, and I had unlimited characters, I’d follow this point with the following #Ilostthestatechampionshipwithatied-pointscoreandi’mstillslightlybitter
• The perfect thing to say: “You constantly inspire me.”  “Your ass is fantastic” is a close second.
• The perfect day of the week: “Thursday. It has the excitement of a Friday but with better television programming.” -Brandy

  I could not have said it better myself.

Confessions: Wedding Related Edition June 11, 2009

1. I don’t understand the hub-bub about Max. That’s Max Wagner for those of you not subscribed to ten plus wedding blogs like yours truly here. Sure his photos are nice, but I’m a little weirded out by the fact that they all look like they were shot in 1970. What’s with the haze?

2. Aside from the fact that I want my bouquet to include lilacs I could care less what my flowers look like. Boring.

3. I am undecided about favors. I don’t think they’re necessary, yet I have about 5 different ideas of varying expense.

4. In the same line of thinking, I half want my bridesmaids to just pick a knee length dress in a shade of purple and leave it up to them. But I also have four different dresses picked out and bookmarked.

5. Even though I love the idea of having a table full of pie and cakes instead of one big wedding cake I think fondant covered cakes are gorgeous.

6. A year ago I was reading the blogs of brides-to-be and their diet and excersize plans in confusion. Now I’m convincing The Boy to go running with me nighly and opting for salads. I am officially a cliche.

7. I love the idea of writing my own vows, but I think I’d be super embarrassed to read them in front of other people. I write on the internet. Does this sound nonsensical to anyone else?

8. The micro-manager in me wants to buy these and do all my own printing. The lazy, “no one will remember our invitations anyway” side wants to pay a little more and have it done for me.

9. I do not want cupcakes. Period. End of story.

10.  I am beyond excited to try on dresses. I’d kinda like to go to Keinfeld, but there is no way in hell I’m buying something there.
Dear Female Friends Who Want To Go With Me,
Make me an appointment. We’ll play in Manhattan, try on dresses, do lunch, and get our nails done. We’ll be those girls. It’ll be fun.
Love, Shaba

Good Better Best February 9, 2009

Good: Needing additional chairs for the Vagina Monologues

Better:Moaning on stage to thunderous applause

Best: Hearing some gal confuse the WASP moan with the mosquito moan.

Good: Fake orgasms

Better: Real orgasms

Best: Multiple real orgasms

Good: Hanging out with LC after Monologues

Better: Hanging out with LC, her boy toy, The Boy and beer.

Best: Doing it all while watching Bill and Ted and eating popcorn.

Good: Boys with curly hair.

Better: Boys with curly hair in button downs.

Best: Boys with curly hair in button downs and sweaters. Dashing.

Good: Falling asleep on his chest

Better: Falling asleep holding hands.

Best: Knowing that we’ll get to fall asleep like that every night come May.

Good: Avenue Q on a Sunday afternoon.

Better: Being the last riders of the Chocolate World Ride.

Best: Finishing the day with an Oreo Sundae.

Good: Valentines Day plans in D.C.

Better: Valentines Day plans in D.C. at this hotel.

Best: Only having 5 days to wait for said plans to materialize…and getting to see The Boy again.

PS-Good Better Best always makes me think of the little diddy, “Good,  better,  best.  Never let it rest, until your good is better and your better best!

Facts I Feel You Need To Know February 1, 2009

I have a copy of All the Rules in my bathroom. Along with an Uncle John’s Reader. Because I find self-help/dating books to be just as entertaining as books that tell me that elephants are the only mammals that can’t jump.

In the past week I’ve eaten an incredible amount of dairy. One day I had a Smart Ones ham, egg, and cheese English muffin, yogurt, broccoli cheese soup, and ice cream. This means I’m either incredibly calcium deprived or I’m slowly mutating into a cow. The Boy says, “Maybe you’ll grow like six more boobs. That would be fun.”

My hair has now grown long enough that when I wear a ponytail for any moderate length of time, my scalp hurts. I forget that men don’t understand this and often complain to The Boy or my brothers that “My hair hurts.” They then tell me that hair is dead and can’t hurt, until I stick tape on their legs and yank.* Hurts now, doesn’t it? Heh.

My 40 page single space paper is actually a 20 page single space paper. Hallelujah.

The biggest writing problem I have (besides spelling, Hi, Spell check? I love you) is comma usage. I don’t know the rules. I normally write like I talk, putting in commas where a pause would be. Then I reread my post and take half of them out. I also over use the exclamation point because I want everyone to think I’m Super Excited. !!!

A smoke detector in our apartment has been doing the annoying “low battery” beep for at least two weeks. AlexMac and I are both too lazy to change the batteries and have taken to pretending the beep is our invisible pet bird, Roland.**

For about a week I was convinced there was a drug deal going down outside my apartment. I came home one day and there was a can of coke sitting on the air-conditioning unit. I figured maintenance forgot it when they salted the side walks. The next day there were two cans. OBVIOUSLY coke dealers were rendezvousing outside my apartment and the cans were the sign that “product” was available. I threw both cans away in an attempt to crush any impending illegal activity. Just call me Scruff McGruff.

The same neurotic mentality mentioned above allows me to convince myself that I’m dying every time I have an unexplained pain or symptom. I had unexplained bruises a few weeks ago and told The Boy that I was obviously in the beginning stages of cancer or leukemia or some House-like obscure disease. He reminded me that I frequently walk into walls and furniture and I probably just forgot that I fell into the fridge again.***

After seeing Brandy’s post about her blogging history I was feeling proud that I’ve not received a single ill-willed comment or email. Then this weekend some asshole broke into my email account. The details of this event do not need to be shared, but I’ll say I am a little hurt someone would try and cause me pain. I provide the funny people! Why you gotsta be hatin?

*I haven’t ever done this. I have thought about it though. With glee.
** This is also a lie. The bird part, not the smoke detector part.
***This is unfortunately true. Depth Perception: I Do Not Has It.

Christmas Flavored Domestic Goddess December 22, 2008

Recipes! December 21, 2008

So ya’ll asked and here they are, the recipes for the aforementioned baked goodies!

Rollo Candies
These are a family favorite. We buy the “snaps” pretzels, line a jelly roll pan with them, stick a rollo on top and pop it in an oven for 2-3 minutes (candy should be slightly melty). Pull the sheet out and push a cashew into the rollo. Refridgerate.
Ta-da! The perfect mix of salt and sweet.

Peanut Butter Cookies
I wanted a good recipe and I found this one at Smitten Kitchen. These were excellent, and though I didn’t use the peanut butter chips like suggested, they still turned out amazingly yummy!

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup peanut butter at room temperature (smooth is what we used, but I am pretty sure they use chunky at the bakery)
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 tablespoon milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup peanut butter chips
1/2 cup chocolate chips

For sprinkling: 1 tablespoon sugar, regular or superfine

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, combine the flour, the baking soda, the baking powder, and the salt. Set aside.

In a large bowl, beat the butter and the peanut butter together until fluffy. Add the sugars and beat until smooth. Add the egg and mix well. Add the milk and the vanilla extract. Add the flour mixture and beat thoroughly. Stir in the peanut butter and chocolate chips. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes. Do not overbake. Cookies may appear to be underdone, but they are not.

Cool the cookies on the sheets for 1 minute, then remove to a rack to cool completely.

Lucky Charms Treats
Prepare like rice krispy treats, but use Lucky Charms. Duh. I also like to make rice krispy/fruity pebbles (2:1 ratio). Woo hoo sugar!

Oatmeal Cranberry White Chocolate Cooki
These are so good! Make them now!

2/3	cup butter or margarine, softened
2/3	cup firmly packed brown sugar
2	eggs
1-1/2	cups Old Fashioned Quaker® Oats, uncooked
1-1/2	cups all-purpose flour
1	teaspoon baking soda
1/2	teaspoon salt
One	6-ounce package dried cranberries
2/3	cup white chocolate chunks or chips Heat oven to 375

	In medium bowl, beat butter and sugar with electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs, mixing well. In separate bowl, combine oats, flour, baking soda and salt. Add to butter mixture in several additions, mixing well after each addition. Stir in dried cranberries and white chocolate chunks. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.
	Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown. Transfer to wire rack. Cool completely. Store tightly covered.

.
Rocky Road Bark
1lb semi sweet chocolate
2 cups mini marshmellow
1.5 cups pecan peices

Heat chocolate (recipe calls for a double boiler type contraption, but I just microwaved. I’m lazy.) Add marshmellows. Add pecans. Spread in jellyroll pan lined with wax paper.  Refrigerate 2 hours. Ta-da!

Happy Holiday Baking!

These Cranberries Taste Like Cranberries December 18, 2008

How is it Thursday already? Jeez. It feels like Tuesday to me, probably because I’ve only been to work one day this week. Monday I traveled back from Virginny and yesterday my body decided to rebel. People, I’ve ingested more cranberry juice in the last two days than any normal person should. UTI’s make me want to die. TMI? Well, it is Thursday.

So yesterday I drank a whole bottle of Ocean Spray Cranberry-Pomegranate that I found in the trunk of my car. My trunk is like Mary Poppins carpet bag; there’s all sorts of shit in there that may become useful in dire situations. Things like matches. And a pink princess dress. And mouth wash. And a huge box of Swiss Miss. The Boy said Trunkjuice may not be a good idea, but I beg to differ. My trunkjuice served me well until about 8pm last night, when I ran out of the cranberry nectar my body adores and had to remain at the hospital and deal with stupid people for another three hours. Then there was this strange instance where both of my legs fell asleep at once, which may or may not have ended with me on the floor in a crumpled mess, moaning and doing my best “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” impression, even though I’m alone in my apartment and obviously no one would hear me…but that’s a story for another day.

Besides this unfortunate ‘Gina incident (BTW, The Boy just texted me “How’s your vagina doing?” which is probably the strangest question I’ve ever been asked via text message,) I’ve been busy with holiday preparations and diagnosing myself with strange illnesses. Thanks Mystery Diagnosis!

I have lots of baking to do, I need to send out my scarf, and baked goods and Jamie’s package, I have some odds and ends to pick up to finalize my Christmas list, I’d like to update my blogroll, and finish the Amy Tan novel I started.

Also, I need to write my resolutions, which will include Go To The Gym, Play Scrabble, and Be Nicer To The Boy, among others.

PS- Yesterday’s post scared The Boy because, “neither one of your imagined lives has room for a husband and family” and I reminded him that when I was in grade school I thought my high school years would be spent as a Sweet Valley High twin, blonde and tan, on the beaches of California. My real high school years? Much cooler. My imagined 20s are cool, but I’m sure my real twenties, will be even better.

Caution, I Gush About The Boy December 14, 2008

So, The Boy just gets better and better as time goes on. This whole weekend was awesome (as it tends to be, whenever we get to spend some time together). Last night we went to a fancy-smancy dinner because this weekend was our big .5 year anniversary, and well, The Boy likes me enough to celebrate in fractions! I still have a hard time accepting that he does, I mean, I think I’m pretty cool, but he adores me. I wish I could see myself the way he sees me.

The dinner was awesome, the wine was amazing, and the company was 1st class. As I sat there, next to him at this big table, candlelight and new dress/shoes/necklace laden, I felt what can only be described as “glowy.” It was phenomenal. I felt grown up and in love and completely, completely happy.

Tomorrow I have to leave Virginia, and I know it won’t be easy. It gets harder and harder to walk away every time. And I can’t wait for the day that I won’t have to.

Things That Are Good November 16, 2008

• Ani in concert
• LIT’s with LC, her boytoy and The Boy
• Walking comfortably around town once last time before winter sets in
• Chicken wing pizza
• AlexMac saying….anything.
• Godiva Hot Chocolate
• Repeat performances. If you know what I mean.
• Boyfriends who bring you flowers and pay for your haircuts and change your flat tires
• Best friends who understand your “Look at that crazy dancing man,” look and your “we could totally interpretive dance to this song” look.
• Thai food
• Weekends that fly by

Missing your blog.

So, how was your weekend?